Signaling: More Bad Signs to Avoid – General

Here are a few bad signs in general: 

1.       Defensive. People who give off the “I figure you won’t find me attractive so I’m going to hate you first” kind of vibe. If they have self-esteem issues, let them deal with it with their shrinks. You’re not there to fix them.

2.            A downer. Another sign of insecurity and defensiveness: I once went to a single’s party with my friends and their friends. One of them in particular was determined to be negative. She refused to dance with her friends, and she refused to participate in any of the icebreaker games with the other singles. One wonders why she was even there. As I took a break from dancing and sat down on the sofas next to her, she said to me: “I’m just going to sit here and laugh and laugh at all these people making asses of themselves! What a bunch of losers!” She was not exactly attractive on the outside, but she was even worse on the inside. Talk about broadcasting a negative vibe a mile away. It was enough to scare me back to the dance floor just to be away from her. What man would go near that?

3.            Using mild assault as an ice breaker. This one actually happened to me. Okay, I’m going to come right out and say it: being short and small sucks. Some men assume that you’re an easy target just because you don’t look like you could pack a good punch. I’ve had the misfortune of bumping into a lot of salivating creeps in my days. Once when I was in the subway, one guy walked right over and stomped on my feet, then he tried to use that as an icebreaker to pick me up: “Did I hurt you? You want to sit down here and rest it for a bit? What’s your name, sweetheart?”  Note to guys: this is not a good way to get a girl’s attention. Girls: time to bring out the frying pans and sharpen your stiletto heels!   

4.            Lack in confidence. Once a friend was told by another that there was a guy at the party who wanted to ask her out, but thought she was too pretty, too successful, and out of his league. So he decided against it. “Oh come on, you gotta convince him that I won’t bite!” The truth is, my friend actually doesn’t bite, but if a guy is so lacking in confidence that he won’t find out for himself, then it really is just as well. Quitting before he even gets started and just making assumptions about my friend is a bad sign. Talk about self-sabotaging.