Substance over Form: Cut Through the Guy’s BS

With a bit of critical thinking, one can weed out a lot of guys online before things even progress to the first date. Here’s an example of what one guy wrote to me:

“I notice that on your profile you selected 'No Cheaters'. But you know sometimes it’s really hard to say if a cheater is necessarily bad. I’ve got a friend who was like the biggest cheater, but now he’s the most devoted husband and father. So you never know. But of course, you’re right. I’m against cheating too. I agree with you 100%. Well, hope to hear from you!”

Hmmm, should I listen to his verbal support of my view, or his not-so-subtle approval of his friend’s behaviour? Which one do you think reflects his true beliefs? I never emailed him back. I’d read enough.

In accounting, seeing beyond the numbers and getting to the actual picture is called Substance over Form. It means, in a not so polite way, cut the BS and show me what you’ve got.  Management could pat your back and say there’s not a worry in the world, but if you see them dumping useful assets and not spending a dime on anything long-term, you know something’s up.

So always try to see beyond what a guy tells you. “Let’s take a break” is never a just a break, “let’s just hang out” might not be as innocent as it sounds, and if he keeps texting you to show his interest, but never comes around to invite you to an actual date? Forget it.