Good Business Practice: Do Not Do To Your Dates What You Won’t Do To Your Business Associates Part 3 of 3

Continuing with my list...

1.    If the applicant is not selected for the job, the interviewer will tell them straight up, and with nice manner. A sample rejection letter goes like this: “Thank you for the opportunity to meet with you. While we were impressed with your qualifications, we sincerely regret that we won’t be moving forward with you in the interview process. We wish you all the best in your job search.”

Or, for the interviewee to turn down a job offer: “Thank you very much for offering me the position. However, I must regrettably decline. I appreciate you taking the time to interview me.”

In other words, a polite reply was expected. A “yes” is a “yes” and a “no” is a “no.” And when asked, they might even provide honest feedback.

In the dating market, some people like to drag it out and give mixed messages. “Are you still interested?” “Sure I am. I had a great time.” “You want to go out again?” “Er, I’m a little busy right now. Maybe after my course is over, in like, six months?” If you’re not interested anymore, just say it.

Here are some of the “Don’ts” in breakups, from the lyrics of “Tell Me on a Sunday”:

Don't write a letter when you want to leave.
Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment.
Don't leave in silence with no words at all.
Don't get drunk and slam the door.
Don't run off in the pouring rain.
Don't call me as they call your plane.

2.   If the applicant is not selected for the job, the interviewer won’t just fall off the face of the earth. If you’re no longer interested in your date, do the courtesy of returning his/her phone calls and tell them openly as a business would to their supplier. Refusing to respond one way or the other is just rude. Don’t leave your date wondering if you’re just not interested anymore, or dead in a ditch somewhere. And don’t leave her hanging and wasting her time and energy so she wishes that you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.

If you’re not interested in someone, don’t tell them at the end of the date that you want to see them again, and that you’ll call, and then don’t call. Just keep your mouth shut and they’ll get the message. Saying things like that might make you feel better, but it’s a disservice to your date.

I know. I know why people do it. It’s to keep their options open. But people should not be replaceable and more importantly, should not be made to feel that way.

3.   The response time for a business email/call is 48 hours, even if the answer is no. Not 48 days, not 48 weeks, and definitely not never.

In the dating world, some people assume that not returning the call now means that you’re leaving the door open for later. But just like you cannot disappear for months then ask for a job, why would you assume it would work for your date?

A friend of mine got a text from a guy she dated eight months earlier. At three AM in the morning. She hadn’t heard from him since that date. The guy was drunk. He asked if he could “come over.” Yeah right! Just as in business you can’t show up out of nowhere and expect to be given the customer loyalty discount, why would you expect booty calls?

Don’t let your date feel like he/she is just the last resort. Don’t make anyone a last resort.

4.   Honor and respect a contract. That includes the marriage contract.

5.   As a professional, I was taught to be very careful about everything that got written down, and the words of a professional are not spoken lightly. Yet in love, hurtful words are being thrown around carelessly.

The world would be much nicer and more civilized if people would do in dating what they do naturally in business.

Let’s be fair and play fair here.