Qualities of Useful Financial Information: How it translates to STD Testing

Now let’s see how the many qualities of useful financial information: relevant, complete, neutral, timely, etc. could be applied to the push for STD testing. Ah, STDs, the hazard of any modern (not-so) fairytale. It’s one of those things that people worry about but find it hard to voice their concern to their partners. It’s the source of many creative evasive manoeuvres and anger induced by defensiveness.

Relevant: So you insisted on him producing some paperwork before you would sleep with him. That means something from the doctor, not his certificate for walking up the CN Tower in under fifteen minutes. That’s not giving you the relevant information you need. The guy could be physically fit but still carry something.

Complete: So, he got you the paperwork from the doctor. Looks like he’s clean for HIV, hepatitis B and chlamydia, but if the test result sheet on syphilis is mysteriously missing from the package, it’s not still good enough.

Neutral: “I don’t have anything. Don’t you trust me?” The good old guilt trip. If the guy just tells you that he’s clean but refuses to produce any paperwork, don’t believe him because he has something to gain by lying.

Timely: Nope, producing clean paperwork from a year ago just won’t cut it. For a player, a lot could happen in a month, let alone a year. Let your potential partner get tested today (which will provide you with a freeze frame of his HIV status three months ago), and wait until the window for infection is closed then get him tested again (for a freeze frame of today). Of course, technically the window means nothing if he keeps on having sex with other people while you guys wait. But then, why are you sleeping with someone you can’t trust anyways?

Free from Material Misstatement: Make sure the paperwork is from a real doctor, and it’s under his name. Not, you know, his roommate’s.

Use Plain Language: Actually, you can’t really expect that from a medical document. Just make sure you know how to read it correctly, or check with someone who does.