Good Business Practice: Do Not Do To Your Dates What You Won't Do To Your Business Associates Part 1 of 3

In business, I was taught to follow a certain set of rules of engagement. They are basically rules that are universally recognized as common business etiquette. Acceptable business etiquette sets everyone at ease, create an environment of trust, and is really good business practice for the long run. 

Unfortunately, men and women who generally know better in business tend to behave quite badly in the dating market. When one side has a change of heart, suddenly, the other person goes from “candidate to be the most important person in their life” to an inconvenience who’s not worthy of a basic courtesy call.

You know that saying: “It’s not personal. It’s business?” *Sigh. If only. The business style would be kinder.

I know, I know. The difference is, in business the purpose of etiquette is to cultivate goodwill in the long term, but in the dating market a break up is generally a one-time deal. But still, what comes around goes around.

I’ll share with you a story of the time when I met the love of my life. At the time, I was chatting with two men online (let’s call them Mr. A and Mr. B). As I was at similar stages with both men, and I booked the first dates with them respectively in the same time frame. I scheduled Mr. A for Friday and Mr. B for Sunday. But Mr. A was an airline pilot and they changed his work schedule at the last minute, so we rescheduled to meet up on the week after.

I went to meet Mr. B on Sunday, and knew right there that I was looking at my future husband. Don’t ask me how. I just knew.

Then there was my moral dilemma. Knowing what I knew I couldn’t very well go on that first date with Mr. A. I don’t want to drag it out and keep him hanging as back up, either. So I decided to be candid and wrote him the truth (not the future husband bit, but just the general idea that things went well with someone else and I must respectfully cancel our date).

To my surprise, the guy wrote back and thanked me for not wasting his time, and for not simply standing him up (apparently it happened to the poor guy quite a few times). He told me what I did was a classy thing. I must admit, that was one of the nicest compliments on my character I’d ever received. And all just for not jerking him around. I guess the percentage of men/women who just disappear must be quite high out there. How’s that for sad?

So yeah, I do believe that keeping things civilized and respectful is the right thing to do in the dating market. So I’ve compiled a list of business etiquette that is also useful in dating to share next time.