Sunk Costs: The Danger of Not Recognizing It Part 2

In the last post I talked about sunk costs, and now here’s an example of how it applies to relationships.

Once a woman I know was planning to marry a man she no longer loved. So I asked her why.

“Well, I paid for his tuition fees, wasted almost a decade of my youth on him, and I didn’t take that job overseas because of him. I’m not about to have it all come to nothing!”

Honey, it was already nothing.

True, that good-for-nothing will never pay her back the tuition fees, but that’s not a good reason to marry him! In fact, she should run in the opposite direction.

The tuition fees, the wasted youth, the missed overseas opportunity...those are all sunk costs. It doesn’t matter if she marries him, joins the circus, or wins the lottery tomorrow, nothing can influence that past.

My friend ended up divorcing him. And on top of not getting back the tuition fees, she’s now paying him spousal support. Talk about throwing good money after bad!

Here’s a golden rule: Failure to recognize sunk costs for what they are will lead to even more sunk costs.

If you feel that you’re giving too much, take some time to calm down and ask yourself if your sacrifices will yield any future benefits. The strange thing is, the higher the sunk costs, the stronger the urge it is not to recognize them. I guess “heavily-invested” sounds a bit better than “heavily-lost,” but in the long run being courageous does pay off. Your future self will thank you.