Groupthink: The Orgasm That Was Not Part 2

In the last post I talked about Groupthink. Now let’s see how that could be applied to relationships.

I once knew a couple who looked like the perfect couple. But unbeknownst to all their friends and family, they were having a hard time on many fronts, including their sex life. Yet they were very desperate to make things work, so they convinced themselves that they had the perfect life together. The perfect house. The perfect car. The perfect sex life. In their denial, they actually managed to convince themselves that she’d had tons of orgasms in the bedroom, when in reality she hadn’t.

“Yeah...errr...that was...great!”, “Yeah...umm...I could totally tell that you...err...enjoyed it!” Pat, pat, on each other’s back, for the great life they have together.

Technically, it’s not faking it if both sides were convinced that it actually happened, right? What would be the correct term for it, mutual-fakegasms???

The couple dragged it out for years. Then one day, long after they divorced (over a couple of other major issues), the woman finally told me the truth.

“But you kept telling me how happy you were!” I protested.

“Yeah, I kept telling myself that too.” She said.

Had they faced the truth about the reality of their situation, they might’ve been able to seek help, or at the very least not waste years convincing themselves that they were happy when they weren’t. Lots might have happened during that time: buying the deed to a cottage is one thing, bringing children into the world is quite another. Talk about far-reaching consequences.

So take heed of this story and be a little more honest with yourself, whatever stage your relationship is in. Sometimes every group needs a whistle blower, and every sex life needs a Deep Throat (yes, pun intended!).