Qualities of Useful Financial Information: How it Translates to Dating Part 1 of 2

In accounting, financial information is considered the most useful when it is relevant, complete, neutral, timely, and free from material misstatement. Also, it should be understandable and use plain language.

Let see how these concepts could be applied to the kind of information being shared in dating:

Relevant: You met a guy and hit it off right away. You talk on the phone all the time and exchange 120 tweets. But if in all that communication, he happens to neglect to tell you that he’s married, there’s a slight problem there.

Complete: He told you about his dog. He told you about his ex. He told you about his mother. But if he forgot to tell you that his ex is still babysitting his dog and his mother still considers his ex to be “the one,” then you’re not getting the whole picture.

Neutral: This happened to me when I was a lot younger and more naive. A boy pretended to be my friend and was giving me all sorts of advice about whom to date, what kind of attributes he should have, etc. Eventually, I caught on that his underlying conclusion is that nobody was worthy except him. If a guy has something to gain, then the information he presents to you will hardly be neutral and free of bias.

(continued in my next post...)

Good Business Practice: Do Not Do To Your Dates What You Won’t Do To Your Business Associates Part 3 of 3

Continuing with my list...

1.    If the applicant is not selected for the job, the interviewer will tell them straight up, and with nice manner. A sample rejection letter goes like this: “Thank you for the opportunity to meet with you. While we were impressed with your qualifications, we sincerely regret that we won’t be moving forward with you in the interview process. We wish you all the best in your job search.”

Or, for the interviewee to turn down a job offer: “Thank you very much for offering me the position. However, I must regrettably decline. I appreciate you taking the time to interview me.”

In other words, a polite reply was expected. A “yes” is a “yes” and a “no” is a “no.” And when asked, they might even provide honest feedback.

In the dating market, some people like to drag it out and give mixed messages. “Are you still interested?” “Sure I am. I had a great time.” “You want to go out again?” “Er, I’m a little busy right now. Maybe after my course is over, in like, six months?” If you’re not interested anymore, just say it.

Here are some of the “Don’ts” in breakups, from the lyrics of “Tell Me on a Sunday”:

Don't write a letter when you want to leave.
Don't call me at 3 a.m. from a friend's apartment.
Don't leave in silence with no words at all.
Don't get drunk and slam the door.
Don't run off in the pouring rain.
Don't call me as they call your plane.

2.   If the applicant is not selected for the job, the interviewer won’t just fall off the face of the earth. If you’re no longer interested in your date, do the courtesy of returning his/her phone calls and tell them openly as a business would to their supplier. Refusing to respond one way or the other is just rude. Don’t leave your date wondering if you’re just not interested anymore, or dead in a ditch somewhere. And don’t leave her hanging and wasting her time and energy so she wishes that you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.

If you’re not interested in someone, don’t tell them at the end of the date that you want to see them again, and that you’ll call, and then don’t call. Just keep your mouth shut and they’ll get the message. Saying things like that might make you feel better, but it’s a disservice to your date.

I know. I know why people do it. It’s to keep their options open. But people should not be replaceable and more importantly, should not be made to feel that way.

3.   The response time for a business email/call is 48 hours, even if the answer is no. Not 48 days, not 48 weeks, and definitely not never.

In the dating world, some people assume that not returning the call now means that you’re leaving the door open for later. But just like you cannot disappear for months then ask for a job, why would you assume it would work for your date?

A friend of mine got a text from a guy she dated eight months earlier. At three AM in the morning. She hadn’t heard from him since that date. The guy was drunk. He asked if he could “come over.” Yeah right! Just as in business you can’t show up out of nowhere and expect to be given the customer loyalty discount, why would you expect booty calls?

Don’t let your date feel like he/she is just the last resort. Don’t make anyone a last resort.

4.   Honor and respect a contract. That includes the marriage contract.

5.   As a professional, I was taught to be very careful about everything that got written down, and the words of a professional are not spoken lightly. Yet in love, hurtful words are being thrown around carelessly.

The world would be much nicer and more civilized if people would do in dating what they do naturally in business.

Let’s be fair and play fair here.

Good Business Practice: Do Not Do To Your Dates What You Won’t Do To Your Business Associates Part 2 of 3

Here’s my dating etiquette list:

1.    Dress approximately like you would for a business meeting. Like, you know, don’t show up looking like a hobo and expect your date to love you for who you are inside. For a first date, the outside is all he/she can see.

2.   During a job interview, don’t tell them you think your old boss is a tyrant and a bastard. By the same token, don’t bitch about your ex on your first date.

3.   Once a meeting is scheduled, only cancel it if there’s a legitimate reason. Somehow, “I’ve got a last minute appointment with my manicurist” just doesn’t cut it.

4.   Once you know that you have to cancel, tell your business associate right away, so they can make the best use of their time. As in, don’t wait until the girl has gotten all dolled up and her roommates have left for the movies before telling her the date is off. Give her a chance to join her friends.

5.   Simply not showing up is not an answer. In my formal life in the corporate accounting world, I’ve done hiring and encountered a few no-shows.  It was a waste of my time and energy, because it takes mental preparation to be in the mind frame of an interviewer. Believe me, I noted the names of these individuals in my files. One of them actually got the nerve to apply for another opening a year down the road, and one of the qualities she praised herself for was “punctual and responsible.” Yeah right.

Some married men actually like to book dates with women and not show up on purpose. That way it’s an ego boost but they feel that their conscience is clean because “technically it wasn’t cheating if a date didn’t take place.” Nobody likes to get stood up, so don’t do unto others what you dread being done to you.

Once a friend of mine was all set to go on a date with this guy and he didn’t show up. When she confronted him, he said that he’d made other plans and had posted an announcement on his Facebook status. He assumed that she should’ve checked his Facebook and figured it out.

It was not her job figure it out. It was his job to tell her DIRECTLY. Unless it’s a obituary note posted by a family member, she should not have to find out why he didn’t show up from a public Facebook status update.

6.   Don’t be late. Same reason as above.

(continued in my next post...)

Niche Market: When fanboy meet fangirl…

Fan Expo Canada is offering their first time ever speed-dating event! They even have separate sessions for each fan genre, and some mixed sessions as well. And it’s free for attendees!

http://www.fanexpocanada.com/post/view/Speed-Dating-At-Fan-Expo-Canada-148

Remember what I talked about regarding niche market? This is a great opportunity to meet like-minded individuals! I can just picture it: the steampunk fanboy meeting the zombie fangirl…

Good Business Practice: Do Not Do To Your Dates What You Won't Do To Your Business Associates Part 1 of 3

In business, I was taught to follow a certain set of rules of engagement. They are basically rules that are universally recognized as common business etiquette. Acceptable business etiquette sets everyone at ease, create an environment of trust, and is really good business practice for the long run. 

Unfortunately, men and women who generally know better in business tend to behave quite badly in the dating market. When one side has a change of heart, suddenly, the other person goes from “candidate to be the most important person in their life” to an inconvenience who’s not worthy of a basic courtesy call.

You know that saying: “It’s not personal. It’s business?” *Sigh. If only. The business style would be kinder.

I know, I know. The difference is, in business the purpose of etiquette is to cultivate goodwill in the long term, but in the dating market a break up is generally a one-time deal. But still, what comes around goes around.

I’ll share with you a story of the time when I met the love of my life. At the time, I was chatting with two men online (let’s call them Mr. A and Mr. B). As I was at similar stages with both men, and I booked the first dates with them respectively in the same time frame. I scheduled Mr. A for Friday and Mr. B for Sunday. But Mr. A was an airline pilot and they changed his work schedule at the last minute, so we rescheduled to meet up on the week after.

I went to meet Mr. B on Sunday, and knew right there that I was looking at my future husband. Don’t ask me how. I just knew.

Then there was my moral dilemma. Knowing what I knew I couldn’t very well go on that first date with Mr. A. I don’t want to drag it out and keep him hanging as back up, either. So I decided to be candid and wrote him the truth (not the future husband bit, but just the general idea that things went well with someone else and I must respectfully cancel our date).

To my surprise, the guy wrote back and thanked me for not wasting his time, and for not simply standing him up (apparently it happened to the poor guy quite a few times). He told me what I did was a classy thing. I must admit, that was one of the nicest compliments on my character I’d ever received. And all just for not jerking him around. I guess the percentage of men/women who just disappear must be quite high out there. How’s that for sad?

So yeah, I do believe that keeping things civilized and respectful is the right thing to do in the dating market. So I’ve compiled a list of business etiquette that is also useful in dating to share next time.